I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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