at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
