Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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