recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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