Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she was so not down for the gang bang
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
