I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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