Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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