I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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