The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
