Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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