HIV tests are more positive than that guy
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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