Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
