Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
