Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
