Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
