Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize