so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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