Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize