i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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