this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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