I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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