Swine flu. Run for my life!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
