Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
