I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize