His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
