i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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