the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
