i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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