i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
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Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?