I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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