I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
