Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
