dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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