Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
