Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
