please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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