He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
