and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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