fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize