I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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