so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
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My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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