the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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