Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
