So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
it's great music for shaving your balls
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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