I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
