Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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