I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
