seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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