Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
