So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
