so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
