Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
