With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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