Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Randomize
