Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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